Burly Movies: ALONE IN THE DARK (1982)

I remember seeing this movie when I was a kid, in the 1980s. Back in those days, in order to get cable television, you had to order a black box programmed by the cable company to allow the cable channels to appear on the television. My mother only wanted "basic cable", the new gamet of channels that were one step above "regular television." Mind-expanding channels like Music Television and Turner Broadcasting.

The cable installer, some beefy local, informed my mother post-attachment of the beetle-like black box to our TV that he'd brought the wrong box. This box was programmed to allow access to all the more expensive cable channels, the ones we couldn't afford monthly, like HBO, Showtime, and the Movie Channel. So, with a wink, the cable guy said, "Well, you don't tell, I won't tell." And thus did my fatherless household become blessed with the Holy Trinity of movie channels. And it didn't take long to figure out that late night cable television was a haven of every early-1980s videotape horror/Alien rip-off/Italian zombie/Slasher movie made up to that point. This included a vast selection of softcore porn. The 1980s cable experience was everything a young teenage boy needed to become a man.

Among other mind-blowing movies like THE BURNING and THE SOLDIER, I recall anticipating ALONE IN THE DARK and being somewhat disappointed. The big draw was Martin Landau, a bit older and returned from deep space after his adventures as Commander Koenig on "Space 1999." Here, he plays a firebug/knife-wielding maniac known as "Preacher", because as the orderly explains, Preacher was a holy man who "likes to burn churches. Only problem, they usually have people in'em." Erland van Lidth, a hulking presence in the movie and far lesser known, plays a brutish child-molester by way of King Kong. A monster, to be sure, and yet not without some sympathy. Craggy, dependable, and menacing Jack Palance rounds out the crazies as a disturbed war veteran. Additionally, Dr. Loomis from HALLOWEEN, the inimitable Donald Pleasance, is again a quirky psychologist.

So the three lunatics escape Palance's asylum in order to lay siege to their new analyst's family, trapped in their farmhouse in a reversal of the previous status quo. I don't remember being riveted by this flick when I saw it as a teen, but I found ALONE IN THE DARK very effective as a middle-aged f*cker. Surprisingly, characters act with reasonable caution and understandable stress, but unlike most '80s horror flicks, logic is adhered to for the most part.

Topping it off, the ending of the movie shows one of the maniacs integrating into the subculture of a violent, twisted society. Turns out, ALONE IN THE DARK is making some very pointed accusations about culture, and the mystery of insanity.

If you've never seen this movie, I recommend it highly. A solid, unassuming thriller with some nice jumps and solid "crazy" performances by a trio of genre veterans. Nobody will be calling for ALONE IN THE DARK to be referentially referred, but I'll call it a minor classic and leave it at that.